.jpg "J.D. Grubb Photography")
She
Have you seen this? WHY is it so funny, true, and why did it just ruin my childhood memories?
He
Haha. I am trying to think of a male equivalent for this bad socialization. Probably a number of films . . .
She
You mean how are women portrayed in films that are just creepy?
He
Haha. Yes. . . .
On a related note, I was casually scanning a few googled articles the other evening, and came across this.
She
What did you think of it?
He
"Frick."
Most of the points seem to apply to the present, so apparently it is time for me to move on.
She
It seems so logical (the article I mean). Those darn emotions make it seem so confusing. Shoot. Sort of like the burnout article I read when I was at my last job.
He
The emotions of moving on or? . . .
She
The emotions of attraction and hope. I feel like I could send this to several guys I know, and I think the hard part (for men and women) is the focus on the ONE person you want to be with.
He
Right.
She
Remember: "Keep in mind, there are plenty of girls in the world - some of whom will find you attractive and well worth their time."
He
Right . . .
She
And I am preaching to myself here; because from where I sit, I feel like I know WAY more amazing women then men.
He
Ah yes. Round and round it goes.
She
I am not saying I don't know great guys, so please don't hear that.
He
I understand. For the deep hearts, especially, inspiration for romance becomes rarer and rarer with each shattered pursuit.
She
Yes. My brother asked me today if I am dating - and I don't know how to tell him I am not.
He
As opposed to just saying, "I am not dating anyone"?
She
Yes. I guess I feel guilty. Like, am I not trying? Have I given up? I just feel like I am exhausted with putting myself out there in different circumstances, and I am not sure how to keep going while still being true to myself.
He
Exactly. But then I, for one, remember what is currently clear, and what God seems to be inspiring in me, and I try to invest or keep investing in that. Basically, I listen and look and respond - even when it is directing me toward someone that ultimately does not seem to give a shit.
She
I wonder, though, was I too focused and not open enough before now? Is that why I am still single? #singlepersonshonestworries . . . Well, don't discount attraction and the fact that you may personally be growing into a better person through this experience.
He
Absolutely. There are many questions, many "ifs".
The reality, for me at least, is that despite the heartache and confusion, each chapter in the story does hold some kind of meaning. It is part of the story. It is painful, frustratingly so sometimes, but it is what makes an interesting life as well. More importantly, it is what makes real love more tangible in the end - more recognizable when it blesses us with a knock on the door.
She
I agree. You know what confuses me? How one person can so deeply love another and yet the other person doesn't seem to care.
He
Indeed. And so it is with God.
She
Like, I sometimes feel like God should let our emotions be equal, right? I think that all the time.
He
Thinking of Christ, of God's own anguish at our indifference, is the most humbling of all to me.
She
Like the last guy I was interested in. I can comfortably say that I still really love him. I don't want to date him any more, but I really want his best. Yet I do not think he has that level of care for me. It is just interesting. Maybe I am being foolish. But it's just where I am. And I am okay with that.
He
Perhaps foolishness is akin to love. It is foolish to offer so much - to risk so much. That kind of love is real, though, even if it is hidden away by the other person. That is God moving. That is something important. It opens the heart to a greater capacity for love, for the next fool who needs it.
She
I agree. I mean, I have tried to be wise in this. AND at the same time, I really feel that this is one of the most growing experiences I have had with love and vulnerability, which I am happy to have grown in.
He
Amen.
She
And the next fool will (hopefully) be happy I did too.
He
Ha. I hope so.
She
You're pretty awesome. You will find her.
He
Likewise. Thanks for your confidence. (I think we have a Part 2 to "Talking about Romance" here.)
She
Maybe we do! Talking about romance by people who have no clue! Haha.
He
On the contrary. Life has provided us with many clues.
She
Another thing I wonder a lot about is what sort of expectations do I have that I think are normal and reasonable, but in reality build up walls I didn't know were there? That is basically me asking, "Do I expect too much out of men?" Or do I not expect enough?
He
That is a good question. I think that is a choice that must be made on our own, which then must be remade when we encounter another soul. It is a daily courage - and it does not change after marriage. It is a tension between abundant grace and the call toward growth.
She
Yes! Exactly. The older I get, the more and more I see how marriage plays out the gospel daily.
He
I would say that marriage plays the gospel out more intimately, but that all reflects our maker and the need for a promise of salvation outside ourselves.
She
Yes. I mean it is an opportunity to mirror the gospel. And yes, it must also serve as the greatest reminder of our need of a savior.
He
It helps redeem the mess into something that not only can be healed, but something that can find meaning.
Don't lose heart.
She
I do often. I am not sure I have what it takes.
He
Each day holds challenges, new or familiar. Each day holds God's offer to overcome those challenges somehow . . . some way . . . You do have what it takes. We can do all things because Christ strengthens us. But we must also ask for that help.
She
Yes. I need to remember that even for this time too.
He
It is not easy. Nothing ever is.
She
It really isn't.
He
Healing and redemption are never easy, but they are worth fighting for.
She
It sticks with me what we were talking about yesterday- that emotional health and spiritual health go hand in hand. It sort of makes it easier to continue in the process knowing that both will grow. Like, when I feel insecure that I don't have what it takes to be attractive to a guy - both in looks and personality - it is a good reminder that in the process of working through that insecurity and trusting Christ, not only are my thoughts and emotions being healed, but it is also an opportunity to know Christ more and grow spiritually.
He
Amen.
